'The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives' is sexual, scandalous. It's not the whole story.

Corrections & Clarifications: An earlier version of this story misstated one of the source's names. It has since been updated. 

"The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" premiered earlier this month on Hulu – and now the stars' lives aren't so secret anymore. It's Hulu's No. 1 show, centering around eight influencers behind Mormon "#MomTok." One of these TikTok personalities thrust the group into the spotlight with a sex scandal after she shared in a video that she partakes in "soft-swinging" – limited sexual contact – with other couples.

But "Mormon Wives" isn't really about swinging at all. It's about friendship, faith, backstabbing, gaslighting, infidelity and vacation – much like a typical season of "Real Housewives."

Mormon women who spoke with USA TODAY say yes, tales like these exist in the broad, diverse community but it's far from the whole story. Is this what typical life is like for them? It very much depends who you ask and perhaps where they live. Some more devout members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (which its members prefer you call it) took issue with the show's more casual references to sex, among other non-church-friendly topics like alcohol and gambling. Others were happy to see the women on the show leaning into everyday discourse and embracing topics like feminism.

"I had a couple of friends mention to me how mad they were that the show was created at all," says Melody Barnett, who lives in Tooele, Utah.

Barnett hopes the average viewer knows to take the show with a grain of salt: "Before seeing it and after seeing it, I still think anyone intelligent will know that it's simply reality TV where inaccuracies abound."

'The concern of being judged can be very real'

Younger generations might view the women on the show as guiding lights for the future of the church (of the series' eight stars, six are active members). Still, Mormon women, like with all religions, not everyone will abide by the same rules and still consider themselves Mormon. But even those more enmeshed in church culture can appreciate nuance.

"The show was a reality TV show that felt very drama-filled and sensational," Barnett, 39, says. "I wouldn't say that I recognized much of the 'culture' in the show except for the shots of scenery in between gossip conversations. I would say that the concern of being judged can be very real for many."

"To me the show had nothing to do with religion," adds Lisa Calloway, 41, of Georgia. "The fact that they kept splicing in pictures of the temple (and crosses and stained glass, which are not really LDS symbols) was sort of disorienting."

The church, for its part, pushed back against "entertainment media" in a recent news release. "We understand the fascination some in the media have with the Church, but regret that portrayals often rely on sensationalism and inaccuracies that do not fairly and fully reflect the lives of our Church members or the sacred beliefs that they hold dear," the church said. Criticism has sprung up since the trailer premiered.

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'A very narrow slice' of Mormon culture

Cassandra Sutton lives in Georgia now but grew up in Utah as a Mormon. The 37-year-old knew she had to watch once the trailers came out, and was familiar with the #MomTok scandal. "Even though I don't consume reality TV generally, I'm from Utah and am a sucker for seeing places I know and grew up with on screen," she says.

So what did she find? It's "a very narrow slice of the progressive end of the Mormon bell curve," and "highlights a very clear generational divide in Mormonism." Millennial Mormon women and younger, for example, may know people like the cast in their circles.

What it got right more broadly "is the close relationships and bonds that Mormon women form with each other," albeit without the drama. It also narrowed into the specificity of Utah-specific Mormon culture, where more than half of the state follows the religion.

Sheryl Ellsworth, who also lives in Georgia, says the show brought her back to her time living there. As a Black woman in Utah "it was hard for me to find people who were really willing to deeply talk about hard topics like race in America or race in the church."

As for all the backlash the show got, "I just feel like people were trying to do some damage control that wasn't really necessary," the 41-year-old adds. "I'd like to give credit to viewers these days that they recognize that there's nuances to a lot of different things."

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'It brought to light some hypocrisy'

Many viewers were quick to praise the women on the show, all in their 20s and early 30s, for calling out "the patriarchy" in the community. But how pervasive is that notion in real life?

"Most of us have very loving husbands that don’t control us," says Claire Kane Hayden, 25, "we are not commanded to get married young or have babies young, and it is not against any rules for women to work or get an education. I think a lot of people have false assumptions that women in the church are marginalized and misrepresented, which I have personally never felt that way."

Still, "Mormon Wives" emphasizes how the women push back against patriarchal structures. They're comfortable talking about sex. They aren't ashamed to discuss divorce; one woman even throws a divorce party for herself. But you also watch misogyny in action when one woman who acts a certain way in front of her friends morphs into a hollow version of herself in front of her husband.

"It brought to light some some hypocrisy," Ellsworth points out – though not all women in real life felt the men in their lives deserved such ridicule. Bad men can come from anywhere, they say.

"My dad and other male figures in my life were never dominant or overbearing, and the status quo was not that men had more right or power or privilege than women," Sutton says. "Even though I grew up in Utah, I think my personal family culture shielded me from a lot of the toxic cultural sexism some of my friends experienced growing up Mormon." Now, she sees herself "as a true and equal and true partner with my husband, and I interpret and view my faith as supportive of this."

Katie Wilson, 37, feels "a little bit sick to my stomach to think that the portrayal of these women is going to color what people may think is found in an LDS relationship."

Desiree Olive, a 34-year-old songwriter, has a loving husband who supports her dreams. "I have a great sense of self, besides just being a wife and mother," she says, and "in my personal experience in the church, I have come across some dang strong women who literally have moved mountains to accomplish their goals and I know that they couldn’t have done it without the support of their other halves."

At the same time, the women on the show could've gone further. "I was proud of them, that they used a big word like patriarchy," Ellsworth says. "And I was just like, OK, but at the same time, you want to dismantle patriarchy, also talk about racism, also talk about LGBTQ issues. Also talk about so many other things. But at least they got there."

Perhaps the show will continue to spark more conversation, and may solidify some women's place in the church.

"The church encourages its members to be active in seeking their own answers to questions and 'whys,' instead of blindly following the commandments," Hayden says.

But not everyone feels as loyal.

"Right now, there are things in it that still serve me and that I can see the good out of it," Ellsworth says of her faith. "But I don't know … I used to say, 'this is the only truth.' I can't say that anymore. I also can't say I'll be it forever."